Friday, April 6, 2012

Spiraling towards burying ashes

Maybe I’m spiraling out of control over the need for touch. To belong. To feel complete.

I’ve been eating too much lately. Granted, it’s been pistachios and mandarin oranges that I’ve been gorging on…. But still….. it’s too much.

I’ve been frantic about getting to some type of dance class almost every day. I went to a contact improv basics class last night and loved it. Heading out to another dance tonight.  I’ve invited WWW to the event tonight, she will meet me there. The crazy thing is, I am rather hoping she invites me over to her place after the dance. How crazy is that? So that I can rush around in the morning to shower and gather a death certificate and be at a cemetery an hour’s drive from my house?

Maybe it’s the frantic brain trying to keep me overly busy so I don’t focus on Saturday.

We had a nice gravestone plaque created for my wife. My in-laws, her brother and niece will all be there to see some of the ashes buried. My mother-in-law will be keeping the remaining ashes and urn at her home. It will be good to have some more closure. For all of us.

I have a hike planned on Sunday, skipping dance. WWW likes to hike as well, but I really need to show some restraint and NOT invite her to hike Sunday. This is the first hike of the season, and it would be good for just my regular hiking partner and I to go alone.

My Grandfather's funeral is scheduled for NEXT Saturday. 

These posts the last few days don’t even make sense to me.


  1. Happy Easter and lots of strength to find a new life . Thanks for your comment.

  2. I'm sorry for your loss - one day at a time.

  3. Wandered over to say thank you for your comment on Bizarre Scribble and i hope to hear from you in the future. Sorry for your loss :-).

  4. I read back four or five posts just for a feel of who you are. Dude gorging is like a gallon of ice cream in one sitting, mandarin oranges and pistachios is a bit of nervous eating (watch the pistachios, too many are a natural laxative).

    You are learning to live differently than you had been living and being a wee bit nuts (not pistachio though) is normal in the rebuilding, recycling process. It is a process that in and of itself is not as important as much as who and what you are when you come out the other side of the tunnel.

    Be Well

  5. It seems to me you have a tough week ahead with scattering ashes and your grandfathers funeral coming up, so I say if it's only mandarins and pistachio's, you're doing ok, man if it was me I'd be eating everything and anything! I really don't know what the best thing to do is regarding WWW, it seems you are pretty drawn to things for sure, I will definitely be tuning in to see how you are doing. Take care.