Friday, October 28, 2011

Halloween Poetry?

Ended up at a poetry reading last night. It wasn’t horrible, just not real exciting. Most of the readings were women pondering things like embryos clinging to red walls reminiscent of children hanging from monkey bars, or tucking children in at night with thoughts of being a better parent tomorrow. Yeah. That kind of poetry reading. But I was supporting a friend who was supporting one of the readers, so I got some cultural points this week.

I am going to put my deposit down on the new apartment today. With any luck I can start moving in next week, depending on the flooring situation. The carpets need cleaning desperately.  I want to hang pictures and artwork up as quickly as possible to make it home.

Halloween weekend. Could be fun, could be crazy. I have left tonight wide open, and have a party on to attend on Saturday. B.D. is attending a different party, but might show up to meet me later. Sunday I have an event to carve some pumpkins. Sunday is also Hippie Dance Church, but they are doing a Day of the Dead celebration type dance, and I don’t think I should subject myself to that.

I’m not so sure about my Halloween costume this year. I was talked into wearing a black negligee type top, with a black skirt. I found some cool boots at a local thrift store, they have a thick high heel and go up a little way over the ankle.  I will also be wearing a ¾ sleeve long gold lamé coat. Yeah, not sure how I was talked into this cute little number. 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Conflict Mediation

B.D. took me to a free Conflict Mediation workshop last night (first in a series) that was at a local college. First time I have been in a classroom setting since high school. It was rather fun. Although it was amazing how fast my old insecurities came flooding back. Am I smart enough to understand this? They talk so fast, am I getting all this?  Don’t look at me to answer that question, I don’t want to speak out in front of all these people!  Whew! Breathe Deep! 

I still don’t know what to do about B.D.  She is smart, attractive, goal-orientated, and engaged with life, but she has a bit of a need to control. Last night, we had a late night drink after the class, and it was my turn to pay. I dropped some cash on the bill, and when the server returned with the change, B.D. took it upon herself to hand me my change, minus what she thought would be the appropriate tip amount.  A small thing, but that sense of always in control of everything would not work for me in the long term. I’m still waiting for her to bust out with a good belly laugh. Control. Zero Conflict. Mediation.

I may be easy going and can go with the flow, but I also don’t want to be forcefully led.

Keep Yourself Positive !

Ran across this last night:

Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive, because your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive, because your behavior become your habits.
Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Just a mellow day

Yesterday’s blog post keeps crashing my Google Chrome. Not sure why. It appears to be ok in Internet Explorer. If it still crashes tomorrow, I will try removing the YouTube video that is attached.

I have stepped down as Assistant Organizer for the widow/widower group. It is time. The Organizer supports me and wishes to also step down in the near future. I think I will skip the next dinner just to see how it feels.

I am having dinner with B.D. tonight. We are going to a workshop for confrontation mediation afterwards. Sounds boringly fun. Not sure why I agreed to go, as I will be skipping hippie dance church to attend.

B.D. is very mellow and sweet, and while I enjoy our time together, there is still no spark for me.  Perhaps there needs to be a gentle talk before the workshop. Oh, the irony!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Work for Love of yourself

Sometimes even boring days can be fun.

I had no plans last night, so I finally caught up on laundry (four loads!!) while I made dinner and cleaned up the apartment a bit.  An old friend called with boyfriend trouble, so we had a nice long chat. Relationships shouldn’t be a daily struggle, right?

I am in a holding pattern for so many things in my life right now, it’s rather frustrating.  I am hoping to be able to move into the new apartment in the next couple of weeks, waiting for my realtor to hear some good news on the house that I put an offer on earlier, and wanting to spend some more time with B.D. to see if it goes anywhere.

Writing this blog every workday is not as easy as I thought it would be. I feel like I am filling it with drivel and very little meat. I feel like if I skip a day, I will start skipping two days, and then it will start long stretches of no entries. At least this way, I am forced to look inward at least a little bit every day.

Boring for readers, but then again, I am not keeping this blog for readers. This is for my own discovery.

Ministry Work for Love

Monday, October 24, 2011

Talkin' Bout Late Night.....Juno What I'm talking about.

Fun weekend, listening and dancing to a friend’s band on Friday night. A large group of friends showed up, and it felt great. I was social, talkative, and there was great interaction. I felt like a little bit of the old Isherwood was back.  My self-worth took a huge dive after my wife died. I felt like people really didn’t want to hang out with just me. I was depressed and not feeling like I had anything to contribute beyond a silent warm body occupying a vacant seat.  When my wife was alive, I was very outgoing.  So this shift in self-worth is very welcome and familiar.

The pain of Friday with the third anniversary of my wife’s death seems to have been another glimpse of closure for me.

I was extremely social on Saturday in that I left my apartment at 8:00 AM and didn’t get back until midnight! Breakfast with my hiking partner, and then we wandered the avenue and bumped into some other friends for a lite snack! I dragged along my hiking partner with another group of friends that were Halloween shopping, and finally had dinner with another group for some late night socializing. That’s four different groups of people for the day. Very social indeed! It felt GREAT.

I even talked 3 people into joining me to Hippy Dance Church on Sunday! We are all going to the same Halloween party next weekend, so we are going as a foursome theme. We picked “one-night stands” and I was talked into wearing a dress since I am growing out my hair and it is long enough to curl now.  Not sure how I was talked into that.

Sunday afternoon was a widow/widowers dinner that I had made reservations for last weekend. I had requested an upstairs private room and the manager had agreed to it, but apparently had not written it down or let the other employees know. The restaurant is extremely busy and loud, and not enjoyable even on for a regular dinner so I had to pull the shift manager aside and politely but forcibly procured the upstairs room for us. I told him the nature of our group and that I would like to protect his other customers from hearing us talk about death and dying and with some newcomers to our group, we certainly don’t want his other customers being uncomfortable with people crying visibly and possibly loudly. Yes, I laid it on pretty thick and he was quite anxious to move us to the upstairs room. I slipped him some extra green after the dinner to thank him, as they really did go out of their way with so few servers available on a busy Sunday night.

I’ve turned into a semi-facilitator for this group, as most of the members don’t want to bring up topics. I tend to start a topic with a broad statement, ask a few of the regulars  if they have experienced something similar, and then look at the fairly newer members for input, allowing the brand new members to speak up if they are so inclined.  My heart isn’t in the group anymore. I plan on skipping the next few dinner groups.  The more full my life becomes, and the better I feel about myself, the less I seem to have in common with the widows/widowers group. I’m not turning my back because I am “OK” now….far from it….. but I feel like I am forcing myself to go backwards to talk at these dinners. 

Three years. That is a lot of dinners.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Three years ago today.

Well-wishers came out in force today, saying wonderful things about my wife. I cherish these friendships, even though they are difficult for me. . I woke up about 3 am today... my wife died in the very early morning three years ago today. I couldn't fall back asleep.

Late yesterday afternoon, my realtor called to tell me the house that I really wanted, but was outbid on may be coming back around to me. Seems the buyer may not be able to close the deal.  I had already agreed to rent an apartment from a friend, so I have put notice in on my current apartment.  If I am able to buy the house, I am hoping my current landlord will let me extend another month or two, and the new potential landlord will not be able to rent out the apartment and not lose out on a month’s rent because of this.  And I really don’t want to move twice.

So if I am able to get the house, I will get a rather substantial mortgage because the interest rates are so low. I will just barely be able to afford the house on my own, with absolutely no change in my standard of living.  My goal is not to live alone though. I would like to move myself into the spacious basement (with private full bath) and have two renters in the main floor bedrooms (sharing a bath). The extra income would go towards either home improvements or extra on the mortgage. At the low interest rate though, I probably won’t make any extra payments.

Am I trying to fill my brain with thoughts today so I don’t start thinking of my wife? YES. Yes, I am trying to divert myself from dwelling on life past today. I am thankful for my past, and thankful for a positive future. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Living the dream of the past, searching for dreams of the future

Up until the end of 2008 I was living the dream in an 1800 sq ft 3 bed/2bath mid-century home on a 1/3 acre lot with a swimming pool and married to the most incredible woman I had ever known. We had planned big vacations every 6 months, threw dinner parties and pool parties, had Thanksgiving dinners, and led a very full life. We were solidly upper-middle class in a progressive city with no children to keep us at home and we were able to live life to the fullest.

My wife’s energy was a focused enthusiasm for life. Since she was a young teenager, she knew her lifespan would not be as long as most people. That knowledge gave her a zest for life that I fell in love with. She had The Spark.

As the third anniversary of her death approaches tomorrow, I am still painfully aware of my loss. I also recognize I have grown emotionally in the last 3 years. There has been a huge expansion in my consciousness.  My wife gave me the tools to live. It is up to me to take her lessons and apply them to my new life and gently embrace myself with love.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Busy day, almost forgot to post something!

The well-wishers are starting to leave emails and text messages letting me know they are thinking about me on this third anniversary of my wife’s death on Friday. I understand why they are doing it, and I do appreciate it, but it would be nice if they just let the day pass by normally. It would be easier on my emotions, especially during work hours.

I appreciate and encourage people to talk about my wife however and whenever they would like, and if they could spread it around throughout the year, it would make me very happy. I am being bombarded by my own emotions this week, and I know others are experiencing memories and feelings that they want to share with me, and it can be a bit heavy.

I am still trying to move forward.

I have a date tonight with B.D. at her house. We are making some pizza together. I’m a bit freaked out. My “Single Life” tells me to bring an extra shirt for work tomorrow. The reality is I will probably run for the door as soon as dinner is over.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Time passing, listening to the moment

Wow, the 28 year old emailed me late in the afternoon yesterday asking me to join her for a dinner and a theater show last night. Very late notice, but of course I said yes. I had a great time. We had a nice long 2 hour plus visit before the show. She is a strikingly beautiful woman but doesn’t appear to realize it. I really didn’t think she would contact me again. Our previous date ended with me letting her know I would wait for her call to contact me. I guess I am just being overly cautious with the age difference.

And my dinner plans for tonight have changed with B.D. (the Blind Date woman) as she is not feeling well and has re-scheduled for tomorrow.

This is something new for me, trying to date more than one woman at a time. I am not being physical with any of them, so it seems ok in my brain so far.

With these change in plans, it leaves tonight open. I plan on going to a Widow/Widowers grief support group sponsored by the local hospice. I haven’t been to this particular group in quite a few months. Not sure why I feel the need to go, maybe it’s just to fill some time and have something to do, or the sadness of realizing how much time that has passed. This week marks the third anniversary of the death of my wife.

My struggle continues of how to manage the feelings of letting my life move forward without being able to share it with her.  

Monday, October 17, 2011

Bank Transfer Day – November 5th, 2011

Joined in the march for #occupyWallSt  October 15th - Day of Actions event in my hometown. It was massive, loud, and informational. Lots of quality speakers on stage. The local police were friendly, even helpful. There was a moment of tension when the march ended at the pre-acknowledged ending spot at an auditorium for more speeches, but the crowd wanted to continue marching. The local police held everyone back for about 15 minutes to establish a proposed route and then we were back on our way. They eventually funneled us into a large city park and the marchers disbanded peacefully.

There were more older faces this time. The word is getting out. The suburban families are starting to take notice and join in. A friend asked me why I was marching, and if I thought it was really doing anything to change the situation. Yes, I think it is making a difference. It is letting people know they are not alone in the daily struggle. It is showcasing some alternatives for a group of people that don’t normally pay attention to the news. One of the common themes for the speakers on Saturday seemed to be “speak with your wallet” and move banking accounts to local credit unions.

Bank Transfer Day – November 5th, 2011

There are local credit unions everywhere. Check into them!


I spent a good part of the weekend with Blind Date woman. On Friday I even took her to an event with a few close friends. I need to give her a name for this blog. How about B.D.?  We had a blast, and although she is pretty quiet, there is some fun conversation. She has invited me over for dinner at her place on Tuesday night.  I’m still torn on how to approach this budding relationship. I enjoy her company, but am unsure of how sustainable it could be. She is very reserved, and non-excitable. I’m not sure I have heard her laugh out loud yet. Smile and chuckle, yes, but an outright laugh needs to be observed soon. She is very serious business. But then again, I can be pretty darn serious myself.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Sunday Mornings

I’m afraid of getting too close to anyone. My brain thinks getting closer to someone means moving further away from my late wife. But isn’t that the goal? To move forward and create another chapter? It’s been 3 years this month. Sometimes it feels like three lifetimes have passed since her death, and the next minute it feels like it happened 3 days ago.

I have a weekend planned with the Blind Date woman, and quite frankly, I am sure she is getting weary of waiting for me to make some type of physical advance other than a few light kisses at the end of the night. What is my hesitation? The feeling of cheating on my wife? The heavy weight of the anniversary of her death this month? Do I try to force myself into a physical situation?

I had dated a woman for about 6 months last fall of 2010. That was a physical relationship but emotionally I was not ready. I feel I’m closer now.

The sadness still comes. Not often, and not as intense. A few tears wiped away and a deep breath with some quiet stillness.  The lazy Sunday mornings filled with gentle playfulness and urgent whispers that we shared are now cherished memories.

We didn’t take enough pictures of the two of us together. My wife took lots of pictures of our travels, but there is a larger portion of pictures of just us separately and not nearly enough of her or the two of us together.
I wanted to find a video of Margo’s song titled “Take a Picture”, but this song captures my thoughts as well
Take a Picture Album 1968 – Sunday Mornings  Song- Margo Guryan Artist

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Does anybody really know what time it is?

Things to remember when at work:

Drink more water

Look away from the monitor

Stand up and walk around

Breathe deeply


Take the full allotted time for breaks/lunches

Maximize usefulness by slowing down

Don’t buy crap from the vending machine

Use the 5-lb dumbbell sitting on my desk.

Pink Floyd- Time- Dark Side of the Moon

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Have you never been mellow?

Well aren’t I a contradiction of intention. Tonight I am going out once again with the Blind Date woman who I previously mentioned held no spark for me.  Seems the more we hang out and she opens up, the more enjoyable her company becomes.

I’ve been very sedate and mellow the last two days for some reason. I have literally made myself some dinner after work and then laid down in bed for the remainder of the night. I’m talking like 6:30 pm I’m in bed. Granted, I’m either reading, or emailing/web browsing on my iPhone, but still, there is no reason for me to be lying in bed for 11 hours a day.  I think it has more to do with the rain and lack of pre-scheduled events more than anything.

I have events scheduled every night until Sunday, so I should feel more productive in the coming days.

The excitement for moving into the new apartment is increasing, and I am anxious to see how this change could be another closure for me after my wife’s death.  This apartment might turn into an actual Bachelor Pad and that would be an extremely positive thing. Maybe the current mellowness is my body gearing up for the frenzy of moving ?

I need to get out and sing some Karaoke. It’s been a couple of months since I last went.

Olivia Newton John sings the original sugary version of Have You Never Been Mellow, but The Feederz do a great punk rock cover. Kenny and Junko are amazing as well, as witnessed in the youtube video above. Yeah, right? This is what they call a "bathroom break song" at the Karaoke Bars.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Operation of the Machine becomes so Odious

I updated my Facebook app for iPhone this morning, and of course it crashed my phone and it requires a system restore. Apple has also made it a requirement that a restore can only be accomplished with a connection to the internet. How nice. My company blocks the Apple domain so I can’t install iTunes to update the phone.  And since I don’t have internet access at home, I need to take my laptop to a coffee shop after work and try to find some fast WiFi.


I told my landlord I am moving at the end of November. It really is a relief. I feel stifled in this basement.  I’m excited to decorate the new place, hanging up pictures and bringing out of storage some vintage knick-knacks. I hope to be able to have people over in a setting that more reflects my personality.

I was watching some YouTube videos last night of the #OccupyTogether march I attended on Sunday.  I was shocked to see my face on several of the videos. I was standing about 3 rows back from the front. I was amazed at how I looked on the video. I looked angry. My fist was clenched in the air. The muscles in my face and neck stretched tight. Wide open mouth shouting with the crowd. The reality of the march was very peaceful, with many smiles, and even laughter. Children were playing  and musical instruments were spread throughout.  The face on the videos was not the face I was actually feeling  while marching.

The march ended at a city park, where people stood and voiced their opinions. I was struck by their intensity, but I also noticed their lack of preparedness for the speeches.  I wanted to hear another Mario Savio:

"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious—makes you so sick at heart—that you can't take part. You can't even passively take part. And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop. And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all." Mario Savio -Sproul Hall Steps, December 2, 1964

Monday, October 10, 2011

Movin on Up to the East side!

So much can change in so little of time. Last week, a friend wanted me to look at the upstairs apartment in their 100 year old house that they wanted me to rent. I took a look at it on Friday afternoon, and was instantly refreshed with the amount of sunlight streaming into the rooms. My basement apartment has very small windows that look out into bushes that block all the sunlight. I walked through it again on Saturday, and was enthralled with the amount of closet space. My current closet is as big as a breadbox.

I have agreed to rent the space, and will move in the first part of November.

The place also doubles as an instant boost to my social life, as my new landlord is the hub for my large circle of friends and we congregate on the porch frequently. I have no fear of being overwhelmed with visitors, as the bedroom is in the back of the house, and with the separate entrance, nobody would come up unless invited.

I’m stoked. This might just be the positive change I need. And it’s in the same neighborhood as I am in now!

I’ve sent an email to my current landlord and will be putting in notice on my current apartment any day now.

Whew! Changes!

 And if that wasn’t enough, I joined the #OccupyTogether  march on Sunday afternoon. It was great to see all walks of life there. Lots of families with young children. There were also many older people lending their voice to the cause. It was very peaceful, and while the local police were lining the path with bicycles and motorcycles ready to quell any disturbance, they also had the slightest smile and head nods towards the marchers that caught their eye. I do believe the police count themselves as part of the 99%. The police are one budget cut away from the unemployment line just like the rest of us.

I started the march with a cup of coffee with the 28 year old hottie. After we marched we had some dinner. I had a great time with her. I tried to gently encourage some more outings together. We shall see what happens.

I need to start packing!

And here is where I would post The Jefferson's Theme Song, but apparently those pesky uptight copyright laws prohibit YouTube posters from having the unauthorized audio. 

Friday, October 7, 2011

wanting to Run Away

So my shrink wants to start seeing me every week now. I guess it wasn’t my imagination that I was slipping a little bit into a depression. I’m pushing against mindful expansion with apathy and procrastination, with day dreams of escape. Those are my words, not hers.

I was going to try and look at another house this weekend, and a home that has been on the market 6 days already has 3 offers, and apparently one is for over the asking price. Crazy I tell ya!

Last Tuesday night I had a date with the quiet woman I met on a blind date and we have another date tonight. This makes the 5th or 6th date with her. I wrote how I was going to put some distance between us and let her know in a gentle way that I am not feeling any ‘spark’.  Well, I didn’t do that on Tuesday, so I better do this tonight. She is fun to hang out with though. I just don’t feel any “oomph” in the WhooHooo department.

Rollerskating on Saturday night again! And then Ecstatic Dance on Sunday morning, followed by a date with the 28 year old young woman that evening!

I don’t know why I have this slight depression. My life is great! It is filled with laughter and good friends. I have no financial woes, I live in one of the best parts of town for walking to hip restaurants and storefronts, my job pays well with great benefits and I only work 40 hours a week. I really shouldn’t have any complaints.

So why do I want to run away?
Bronski Beat Smalltown Boy -

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Clash of #OccupyWallSt

Well let’s see. How am I doing today? Frustrated with my work today, but only because my bosses are not in the office this week, and there is a larger than normal amount of an oddball workload.
Procrastination and Apathy keep me from making any changes to my situation, even though I realize life could be much better. Still waffling on step Five.

I think buying an RV or Conversion Van first is the best way to go. I just gotta talk myself into it. It’s easier to just sit on my rear-end and complain about not doing it.

The #OccupyTogether group downtown is growing by the thousands today. And it apparently is not just kids, but many middle-aged people.

I saw a post on Randi Rhodes Facebook page today:
Caller on show: Steve Jobs was a great man, but the way Apple does business (China, taxes) is what #OccupyWallStreet is all about.

This movement is gaining steam. 

The Clash - Guns of Brixton

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A Warrior In The City

Dreams of RV living are filling my thoughts again. The whole “If not now, when?” scenario is on repeat in my brain.

I’m noticing more and more vehicles that have people living in them. I don’t kid myself for one minute, as most of these are vandwellers by necessity, not choice.  They probably have no reliable means of putting gas into the vehicles, much less for their stomachs.

Could I really give up two years of employment, safety in a home, comfort in a city filled with friends and family and familiar sights in exchange for a somewhat solitary existence in such a small space? And at the end of a year or two, could I really step back into the working world? What’s my Hesitation?

Can I really “Find Myself” out there?

Could I do this in smaller steps? Maybe I find a vehicle first, and still work at this job, and try living in the city, getting a 24-hour fitness membership for showers? The freedom of getting rid of most of my material possessions, yet keeping the stability of a very good job while living in a van. Keeping the job could allow me to “chicken out” any step along the way.

I can see myself in a RoadTrek 210, and could probably afford a 2005 version.  There isn’t very many for sale around here though.

I have a date tonight with a wonderful small business owner who is high-energy and focused. Her energy is so different than mine, and I have been very quiet the last few times I have been around her. She intrigues me. I would like this to not be our first and only date. 
Joe Walsh Soundtrack title song In the City from the movie The Warriors 
Let's get down to itboppers 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

7 words Wall St doesn't want them to say on TV

Today is pretty rough at work. Three out of Three supervisors are gone, and I am “it” and there are well over twice the normal issues happening today. Breathe Deep.

So I didn’t get the house yesterday. I had offered full price on it, but the seller went with another offer. I can’t imagine the other offer would have been ABOVE the asking price! Oh well, there will be others.

The date with the 28-year old last night was very nice. I think we will have another. And tonight I have a date with the Blind-Date woman (this will be the 5th date with her). I need to be very up front with her and let her know that while I enjoy our dinners, I do not feel a long-term connection with her. Honesty is best, right?

I’m just feeling over-whelmed right now, from work, the loss of the potential house,…. And I am also contemplating joining the crowds this weekend in showing support of #OccupyWallSt . There are #occupy groups popping up in most large cities across the country. Look into it. Ask around. Find out what they are protesting. I think it will surprise you.

George Carlin has an interesting viewpoint:
seven words you can't say on TV

Monday, October 3, 2011

Spending Loot, with a little Booze, and a lot of Fun

I really felt good going into Saturday. I had plans to clean my apartment and look at a house for sale. I didn’t get very far, but yet went much further than expected.

A friend called inviting me out for breakfast, so I walked the 1.5 miles to the restaurant and had a great time. I had an appointment at noon to meet my realtor at a house in the neighborhood, so I invited my friend to walk the roughly 1 mile to the house. I was a bit unprofessional having a friend walk through the house with me, but after I looked it over, I asked him to leave so I could talk with the realtor. This house is almost perfect. It has 2 bedrooms and a bath upstairs, and a full bathroom downstairs in a finished basement that would be perfect for me to live in. I put an offer on the house. I should know by the end of the day if my offer has been accepted. There were already 3 other offers on the table.

I am trying to not freak out over the whole economy thing, and mortgaging myself in the midst of this turmoil.

I don’t know how I almost forgot, but there was a reunion of friends on Saturday night that I almost spaced out on going to. These were friends from almost 20 years ago. We were a large group of about 50 kids back in the late 80’s that banded together, all in our late teens and early 20’s. So eight of us got together on Saturday night and played catch-up with much laughter and good feelings. A few Facebook re-connections later and the inner-circle of the that group from all those years ago are slowly finding each other again.

After such an eventful Saturday, I literally did not do anything Sunday. No house cleaning, no laundry, just lying in bed reading and watching YouTube and playing on Facebook all day. I don’t know where my energy went. I wonder if subconsciously I am having difficulty having my life move forward in a positive way without my wife. It’s hard to acknowledge that I can be happy, and fulfilled without her. Others have given me permission to carry on. I need to give that permission to myself. As my Brother-In-Law likes to say during a time of mental struggle or decision making……”What’s your Hesitation?”

I should be totally excited about my life right now. I have 3 dates in the next 3 days with 3 different wonderful women, I am waiting on word from a potential dream house, and my job is getting fulfilling again. And I’m also re-connecting with old friends and fostering new friendships! What more could a person ask for?

The Tossers- No Loot, No Booze, No Fun