Thursday, October 20, 2011

Living the dream of the past, searching for dreams of the future

Up until the end of 2008 I was living the dream in an 1800 sq ft 3 bed/2bath mid-century home on a 1/3 acre lot with a swimming pool and married to the most incredible woman I had ever known. We had planned big vacations every 6 months, threw dinner parties and pool parties, had Thanksgiving dinners, and led a very full life. We were solidly upper-middle class in a progressive city with no children to keep us at home and we were able to live life to the fullest.

My wife’s energy was a focused enthusiasm for life. Since she was a young teenager, she knew her lifespan would not be as long as most people. That knowledge gave her a zest for life that I fell in love with. She had The Spark.

As the third anniversary of her death approaches tomorrow, I am still painfully aware of my loss. I also recognize I have grown emotionally in the last 3 years. There has been a huge expansion in my consciousness.  My wife gave me the tools to live. It is up to me to take her lessons and apply them to my new life and gently embrace myself with love.

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