I Came to Dance

I went on a buying spree for building materials last night. Gathered up enough materials to generate a bill that equals three and one-half months’ worth of take home pay.  I was nauseous as we went over the list. The funny thing is, we didn’t end up buying any of it. My General Contractor didn’t get the price break he wanted, so we walked out of the store. Apparently these stores will wheel and deal a lot more with the contractors. But we did get a full list of items we need, and I got a taste of what it will really cost when we pull the trigger on buying all of it. The list didn’t include any appliances, and I am going to order kitchen cabinets today that will cost about 1.5 months’ worth of salary. Wow. Nice cabinets though!

I’ve gotten past the point of freaking out about the cost. I will be (already am) broke, but I won’t need to do anything more to the house except general upkeep. I’m also splurging on the initially expensive high-efficiency LED lighting so my utility cost should stay fairly low. I still think I’ve done the right decision on the house.

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I wasn’t able to make it to my regular Wednesday night dance class last night, and I really missed it. They have Ecstatic Dance in most major cities in North America. Sometimes it is called Soul Motion Dance. Usually the dances are held in yoga studios as they have nice open floors and usually a sound system.  I’ve often thought how much fun it would be to travel the countryside in an RV and rent space in dance studios, grange halls, or old ballrooms to hold a dance in some small town. All it takes is 5-6 people, a decent speaker system, and my laptop pre-loaded with the music. I could easily imagine a modest cover charge that would pay the space rental cost. It would have to be pretty small towns though. A quick Google search for “ecstatic dance”, “soul motion” or “5rhythms” will probably bring up something near you. 

What I find interesting about these dances, is the kind of people that go to them. I have met doctors and construction workers. I have met a nationally ranked Mixed Martial Arts Fighter. I met an older man with crippled legs that danced on crutches. I’ve met young families with small children that run around interacting with everyone. And you know something? It is also interesting in who I Don’t meet at these events. There seems to be a self-regulating process that weeds out the people that don’t have good intentions at the dance. These people may come once, but they seldom come back until they are ready to interact with the other dancers with respect. I find it amazing.

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I have another date with The Woo Woo woman  tonight. I seem to be drawn towards her quietness. It’s different than the quietness of Blind Date woman. 

I also don’t think Woo Woo is actually looking for “a relationship” in the standard sense. I get the impression she would like to hang out with me, but she would also want the freedom and space to hang out with whomever she pleases. This might be another good transition for me.

Moving Through the Doorway of a Nation

I started this blog with the intention of downsizing and buying a large van or small RV.  With the final intention of downsizing to only a vehicle. Along the way I found that I really need a strong sense of home. I want to travel, but only in short spurts with a home waiting for me.

I haven’t given up my dream of travel, I’ve just modified it. 

So here I am, with another 30 year mortgage, hoping I can pay it off in 10 years. The house is already costing me more than I want to spend, but if I get things done right the first time, I should have minimal upkeep as the years go by.

I struggle with the need to have this materialistic home. My wife and I had a beautiful ranch style home in the suburbs on a 1/3 acre lot, with a 5 acre wooded area against our back fence. There would be deer and raccoons that would come into the yard to drink water from our in-ground swimming pool. There were summer BBQ’s and swim parties. There were dinner parties and get-togethers. My wife was the organizer and the glue that held our circle together.

I would like to bring some of that back into my life with this house. Minus the swimming pool. Those things are a real bummer to keep clean. The new house has a hot tub and that will be more than enough work for me, thank you.

Friends over for dinner, around a backyard fire pit. I miss that.  And I can have that again, with new friends and new traditions.

Moving through this new doorway, open to new situations.

Tom Jones Situation- The lead and how to swing it

cover of Yaz song

Rambling on

It’s funny how life changes so quickly. I started this blog with the intent to document my progress towards fulfilling a dream of travelling and living in a large van or small motorhome. I now find myself in the midst of buying a house, effectively tying me down to a location.

My dream of travel hasn’t left me, rather I feel it is being solidified. If I can stick with my plan of finding roommates for 4-5 years, I can catapult my travel/retirement plans onto a fast track.  If I am honest with myself, I would only want to travel for a year or two and then come back to a home. With this plan, I could have a home that is sustainable with no input from me, and I could look into taking month-long unpaid sabbaticals from my job. I say unpaid because my company is notoriously tight on paid vacation time.

If my life takes another turn and I find a life partner that I want to share my living space with, I have a wonderful home to either share, or move out of completely to rent it out. And if life were to really throw me for a crazy loop, there is space in this home to raise a family. Speaking of, I keep battling with myself about going to the doctor and getting that whole family option taken care of. I am 44 years old, and I really don’t need to start a family with anybody.

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I am anxious to get into the house. It will probably be another 3-4 weeks before final document signing and I get the keys.

I’m not very technically savvy about all this blogging stuff, but I want to set up a picture storage situation. I suppose Google Picassa work, that’s where blogger stores pictures anyways?

Xmas Funk

I think my downer attitude is just the basic holiday blues.

I talked with my in-laws last night and they have invited me to their home for Christmas again. I don’t think I will go over there this year. My father-in-law and I talked again about a remembrance gathering for my wife on her birthday. It was a tear-filled phone call for me as I sat in the parking lot of a restaurant on my way to a Christmas dinner with my co-workers.

The last few days I have been looking at large vans/small RV’s again.  I am seeing some really sweet setups for about $20,000. I’ve been thinking of forced motivation if I had a small RV. I would still work at my current job.  I would want to join a gym for the nice showers. Hopefully a gym with a decent yoga instructor and frequent classes with multiple locations.  It might force me to want to socialize more. God forbid, I call my friends every once in a while.

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I will be going to an ugly sweater party on Friday night.  Should be lots of fun, and hopefully will get the funk out of my face.

JAMES BROWN Soulful Christmas  Santa's Got a Brand New Bag

Sailboats and Vans

I had dinner last night with a woman who lives by her own rules. I was enthralled. She wants to live on a sailboat. We compared notes of sail boats and small RV’s. The difference is, she has the courage and self-empowerment to actually go through with it.  She has done similar things in her past. She lived in a 10ft trailer for over 5 years, living off-grid in the middle of the woods on her own piece of property.

Why can’t I find that courage within myself? I have already found a rather easy path to try it out. I buy a fully self-contained small RV \ large Van and still keep my current job. Moving around the city that I know so well, parking in neighborhoods with busy on-street parking and staying at various friends driveways.  Rotating the overnight stays to once a month so there was at least 1-2 per week. If it was something I could handle, I could move forward with true independence and travel. If the small space and lack of possessions didn’t work for me, I sell the Van/RV and move back into an apartment.  The only loss would be furniture and knick-knacks.

I feel like I’ve written that same exact paragraph many times before. Ugh.

Van Camping remembered

I have a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan that has been a wonderful vehicle for over 100,000 miles. It has the flip down Stow-N-Go seats that fold flat in the back to create a huge sleeping area. We put a couple of Thermarest mattresses down and then a full double size 2 inch memory foam mattress topper over the pads. It is more comfortable than our regular bed, and very cozy. There is still plenty of room in the back area for a very large cooler and multiple duffle bags. There is a Thule roof box on top for more equipment storage. I covered the windows with black fabric stuck to the windows with sticky Velcro.Throw on a bicycle rack on the back, and we were set for multiple week-long vacations.  Seriously. We didn’t need to re-stock food or supplies for weeks on end.

Camped in the middle of the woods on old forest service roads was our favorite escape, but we could also sleep in any urban area that had on-street parking. It is a great stealth vehicle for sleeping anywhere.  Although we sometimes slept in a Walmart parking lot, we rarely felt the need.

To be honest, the only thing that would drive us back to civilization was the urge for an indulgent shower using way too much water than was necessary. We had the standard camp shower bags so it wasn’t like we were dirty, it was just the perceived notion that it was somehow a “better” shower than the ones we took in the woods.

And food? We actually ate better on the road than we did at home. We found ourselves eating more fresh fruit and veggies. More grains and rice cooked in the campfire kettle in stews.

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I have had an electrical problem with the minivan for the last six months. The running lights and fog lights stay on for 30 minutes after the engine is turned off. The battery gets drained and I have to jump start the vehicle. I have removed the bulbs from the fog lights,  tuned off all the inside dome lights, turned off the dash lights except when the vehicle is on… and the battery still drains down and leaves me stuck in inopportune moments.

This morning, the battery was dead again. I was already running late for work, and now I had to take public transit. I made it into work only 1 hour late. I will need to leave an hour early today to get it into the shop. I’ve had it looked at by two different shops now. Neither could find the solution to the electrical problem. We will try again.

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And if we can’t find a permanent solution to the problem, I may just trade it in for another vehicle. And there is the dilemma. My first thought is to get a smaller fuel efficient vehicle like the Toyota Prius. The back area folds down, and in a pinch, I could sleep in the back, but with very little room, and probably not with company. 

Or I could go the other way, and find a Dodge Sprinter Van and create a wonderful weekend warrior escape vehicle.

This would be my daily driver car though, and driving 15 miles each way to work is a significant expense.

No need for me to stress too much though, as I am hopeful we can get the problem fixed in the mini-van.

C'est la vie

Again I am humbled by the recent uptick in readers. Thank you.

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As I pack up my belongings to move to the new apartment, I realize how much “stuff” I have that I never use. This draws me back to the dream of scaling down to the bare essentials and moving into an RV or Van. Have I abandoned this dream? I hope not. Perhaps my goal for the next several months is to put out a “free box” on the corner every week. I live in the type of inner urban area that “free boxes” are a common sight.

Perhaps I could take note of the 100 Thing Challenge  and try to get myself down to maybe 500 things first. I wonder how many items the typical Van or RV fulltimer owns?  How do you count a “Thing” anyway? Would a bed count as one? Or does it count as multiple items with the mattress, box spring, headboard, rails, etc……  bah,  why get hung up on the details! I’ll count it as one and move on!

I purged once before, about a year ago when I sold the house in the suburbs but that was with a different mindset. I was pushing through the darkness trying to force myself into a healthier space. This time around, it would be with a much clearer head. Besides, I kept some of the oddest things that my wife used.  I don’t know why I thought they were important to keep back then. Things like 3 different sets of table cloth settings, multiple plastic baskets she had in the bathroom drawers, kitchen utensils I don’t even know how to use… the list goes on. I don’t need to carry these things around. There isn’t any attachment to them.

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So I’m taking tomorrow off work to pack up, and Saturday I have friends helping me move the big stuff. Hopefully I can get everything out of the old apartment by Sunday and then spend the day deep cleaning. Should be fun.

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B.D. has invited me to dinner at her place Friday night. I’m a bit apprehensive as there might be some pressure to stay over, and I am not sure I have the willpower to say no. I miss being touched. I don’t mean sex, I mean touch. A gentle hand on my shoulder, an arm around my waist. The quietness of tenderness.  I fear that my physical attentiveness will be misinterpreted as emotional connection. We have had several “talks” and I think we are both on the same page, but this new interaction puts a twist on it. I suppose it is time to re-state our positions over dinner, before we tumble into dessert.

Jacques Dutronc ET MOI, ET MOI, ET MOI  60's French 

The Clash of #OccupyWallSt

Well let’s see. How am I doing today? Frustrated with my work today, but only because my bosses are not in the office this week, and there is a larger than normal amount of an oddball workload.

Procrastination and Apathy keep me from making any changes to my situation, even though I realize life could be much better. Still waffling on step Five.

I think buying an RV or Conversion Van first is the best way to go. I just gotta talk myself into it. It’s easier to just sit on my rear-end and complain about not doing it.

The #OccupyTogether group downtown is growing by the thousands today. And it apparently is not just kids, but many middle-aged people.

I saw a post on Randi Rhodes Facebook page today:

Caller on show: Steve Jobs was a great man, but the way Apple does business (China, taxes) is what #OccupyWallStreet is all about.

This movement is gaining steam. 

The Clash - Guns of Brixton

You say either and I say either, Let's call the whole thing off

I finally got some disclosure statements on the house I am looking to buy. Seems there is a very good reason I am accepted offer number 9. There is a substantial oil tank leak that will need to be addressed. The unknown at this point, is the water table is fairly high in that area of town, and the tank could be leaking into the underground water. Not a good situation, and very expensive to fix. Add to that the cost of a new (non oil) furnace….  I’m still going to take a closer look at it today, but unless my General Contractor brother can see some better positives in the other items that need updating, I am leaning heavily towards walking away from the house. If I need to sink another 40k-50k into the house, I might as well look at houses in that price range.

The idea of owning a RV is looking better all the time. My brother-in-law used to sell RV’s at one of the biggest dealers in the state, and he still has friends in the business. We talked briefly about the subject, and he would definitely be the go-to guy if I narrow down the search to specific RV styles.

I’ve been thinking about what price range I should look at for an RV. Trying to be honest, I think 2 years of RV living would be a great goal. So if I take my current rental amount for 24 months, that would be a decent starting price point. At the end of two years, I would have no idea what the resale value of the RV would be. To be on the safe side, let’s assume it will be only worth 50% of what was paid for it.

So check my math on this:

If rent is $700 a month, or $33600 for 4 years, and one should be able to sell the RV for 50% of the purchase price in two years, an RV purchase price of $33600 should be the equal amount of money spent on rent for two years. Let’s not factor in gas prices for now.

On a more serious note… is the correct grammar “buying a RV” or “buying an RV” ??  

Life in the Slow Lane

So the house I had the backup offer on? The seller signed the papers with the first offer. I’m just too slow compared to those full-time investors.

Maybe I really should just buy a small RV without the comfort of a “Home Base.” But I still fret about what to do if I want to settle down after a year or two. Having a house to come back to would be a huge sense of safety. Plus, I have some artwork, and furniture I would like to keep. Not to mention boxes of pictures and papers of my married life. Where would I put those items? I just can’t see spending money on a storage unit.

In other news, I’m finding it difficult to actually post something every weekday on this blog. My life is rather boring, really. And you, gentle reader, do you really want to hear my inner thought processes? How much to tell, how much to hold back?

Maybe I need a stiff drink and some karaoke.

Midnight Karaoke - My Midnight Radio

I put an offer on a house yesterday. It’s an older home that hasn’t been updated in 30 years. Meaning every visible surface needs some type of work. But it’s a nice big house with strong bones. Except for the oil tank. And the rough neighborhood. And the roof.

I’m not holding my breath for it though. There is an investor that already bid cash. It was accepted, so I am in first back-up position. These investors like to come in with a strong offer, and then try to push the already low price down further with demands to the homeowner to pay for needed repairs via renegotiating to a lower offer. So there is a small chance that my offer could still be accepted.

It might be a pretty rough neighborhood, but it is right in walking distance (>1 mile) of 3 different really groovy areas.

It is a good sized lot, with no less than 1 oversized garage and THREE carports, PLUS an RV carport! I can picture the connected 3 carports being used as a “gathering” spot for friends (and the band!); it is shady in the summer, dry in the rain. And it rains a lot in the Pacific Northwest. So plenty of room for roommates, plus a spot to eventually park a small RV (I got my eye on those Sprinter conversions, if I ever win the lottery). And there could even be room for the occasional couchsurfing.com or airbnb.com guest.

So I went out last night with a bunch of friends for karaoke and stayed out way too late. Past midnight! My alarm goes off at 5:15 am so today will be a bit slow. Singing karaoke at midnight is so much fun though! How Can Be?

It was busy with all the folks, but was able to sing:
Runaround Sue - Dion & the Belmonts
Train in Vain - The Clash
I Saw the Light - Hank Williams Sr.
Vehicle - Ides of March

 I Love My Radio (midnight Radio) Taffy

Roads of Redemption to Free us from Sin

I want to buy a house so if I do travel, I have a home base. My fear is travelling to the end of my monetary resources and having nothing in the end. If I buy a house first, at least there is always that fall back position.

Hrmmm- that’s part of the problem, isn’t it? I have always played it safe. Always having a backup plan.

As I read the blogs of various vandwellers and RV’ers, I’ve noticed they tend to either get off the road after a year or two, or at least quit blogging about it. That’s the fear part for me. What about the end of the road trip? How would I get back into society with a job, housing, insurance, etc..

Not following your dreams would be sinful, wouldn’t it?

I'm Schizophrenic (No I'm Not)

My co-worker thinks I have ADD (Bright! Shiny! oooh)

My shrink thinks I might be slightly depressed (who woulda thunk?)

I'm wasting a bit of time before heading to another birthday party for a groovy lady that is turning 41. 

What is it about being in your 40's ? The WanderLust seems to hit quite a few of us. Especially the childless ones.

I'm sitting in a BurntChunks (starbucks) and in the parking lot there is a conversion van. Definitely a VanDweller. There is a back cargo box on the trailer hitch piled with coolers, tarps and a couple of bicycles.  The back and side windows have reflectix covering. The vehicle is a fading late 70's Chevy van with a fiberglass topper. Looks like the perfect size vehicle. It's a bit rustic looking, but unobtrusive and functional.

I don't have much vacation time with this job. They only give us 2 weeks a year. Not Enough. I'd like to take the two weeks all at once and rent a van and see how I like it, but I've done two-to-three weeks at a time in my mini-van. Two weeks wouldn't be enough time to stretch my boundries. I guess I cheated in the mini-van though.... every 4-5 days we would stay in a cheap motel or campground to shower and re-organize. 

Video- The New Duncan Imperials album Hanky Panky Parley Voo!

Flip Flops, Waffles, and Parking on the Beach

Home prices keep falling. The recent downgrade of the US credit rating could trigger harder and more troubling times. As I search for a home to buy, my wish-list keeps flip flopping in wants and needs. Do I stick with the original plan of buying a home large enough to have 2 roommates to generate income? Or perhaps buy a very small home and pocket the difference and buy a small RV?

My initial thoughts of having enough space for roommates also buffered the idea that I may possibly be in another relationship someday, and may want room for a family. Admittedly though, as I am 43 years old, starting a family at some time in the relatively near future does not sound appealing.

The whole thing seems crazy anyway, as the homes I can purchase either need too many repairs or will deplete my savings completely.

I have a small amount of savings that I am hoping to put on a house, and potentially not have a mortgage payment. If I can play my cards right, I might even have enough left over for a decent small-sized RV or large conversion van.

My plans start to waffle quickly when I start to add more variables to the equation. Maybe I shouldn’t pay cash for a home, and take out a loan instead? The roommates would pay the mortgage, and I would still have my savings and I could still get the RV and also have money to travel. Maybe I should look at houses further from the city and my work?  I might be able to get a less expensive home, but roommates would then be difficult to find and the commute would not be enjoyable.

This is retirement savings I am messing with. And what is my fascination with the RV lifestyle anyway?

My wife stopped working about 2 years before her death. Her disease would not allow her to work any longer.

 We used to take wonderfully long road trips in our mini-van to remote areas and camp out. The back of the mini-van was large enough for a double sized memory foam mattress. We were more comfortable sleeping in the mini-van than in most motels. A little over a year before her death, I was in the process of changing careers, and my wife expressed the wish for me to take 6 months off between jobs so we could travel the country. We could keep the house, buy a small RV, and have plenty of savings to travel. My fear kept us from fulfilling one of her last wishes in life.

My Fear.

Her Life.

women with banjos

As I left my basement apartment for work this morning, I noticed a van parked across the street.

It was a Dodge Grand Caravan with a Thule storage box on top. Out of state license. The back windows were tinted, but I noticed extra fabric was hung to further block the back windows. Just like mine when my wife and I would camp.  My curiosity piqued, I looked in the cab. Yup, more fabric was hung behind the front seats, blocking the back end from view. The windows were open a bit, and there was heavy condensation on the windows. 

Someone was parked for the night and sleeping. A Stealth Van! I approve this action.

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I am attending a 3-day music festival this weekend. Pickathon is an annual event held just outside of Portland, Oregon. Great banjo, fiddle, guitar and beer.

I bought my tickets before talking with friends, and very few of my regular crowd are going this year. I’m a bit disappointed. I will be camping alone, without a friendly gang. I’m not too worried though, as I am sure I will meet friendly people camped near me. I had an extra ticket I was able to give away through bartering some acupuncture from a really groovy woman…very happy about that!

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HOUSE HUNTING:

My wish list seemed so simple at first.

1)      Minimum Two bedrooms

2)      One bathroom

3)      Double car garage or oversized single

4)      Within .5 miles of Light Rail Public Train Transit 

5)      Full basement (unfinished is great)

6)      Needing a moderate amount of repair/updating

7)      And of course, within budget with leftover for updates/repairs.

It seems the hard part is Location and the Short Sales. There are plenty of inexpensive homes, but they are either too far away from the city central bus and rail lines, or they are short sales being held captive by the banks. Anything remotely close to downtown that is in decent shape is being snatched up quickly. My hometown  has become a hipster magnet for the entire nation.