Monday, April 2, 2012

What Time is it? It's Poly Time!

My conservative religious upbringing ran headfirst into a brick wall of polyamory this weekend, and I found out too late to serve to miss it.

WWW and I went to a fun house party together on Saturday night. We ended up going back to her place for some innocent hanky-panky.  Light-weight and non-committal fun is what I was seeking, right?

I stayed the night. Nothing too crazy happened. We woke up and acted like a couple of teenagers again and then started talking about some deeper topics.

It seems her light-heartedness towards physical relationships is just a bit too light-hearted for me.  She had previously claimed 2.5 years of celibacy. Well, it all boiled down to what your definition of “is” is.

It appears she has more current lovers than I care to count. She just stops short of coitus with her partners, so she claims celibacy. Call me prude, but I call B.S. 

I was faced with being asked to accept a rotating cast of characters that share her bed, and to be friendly with the other people…. I know I wanted to push boundaries and be lighter with my dating situation, but that is too much for me to handle.

She claims she has been taking a look at monogamy, and might want it in her future. But her current actions detail a very different story.  She told me she has a “booty call” date this week with one of her lovers.  I’m fine with that. She is a wonderful woman that chooses her own life. I also can choose how I interact with her with this new information. I will not be sharing a bed with her again, no matter how relatively innocent this past weekend was.

She texted me late last night informing me she cancelled her “date” this week with one of the guys so she can have a clear head before moving forward with any decisions she might want to make regarding entering into any type of dating situation with me.  I’ve already made my decision.

I feel used. I feel taken advantage of. I feel emotions played with. I feel deceived.

Yes, she was almost completely up-front about her actions if I asked the right questions. But it was only after we had a physical encounter and I asked more questions to clarify, that she offered up the whole scenario.

But I’m done. I will of course remain extremely pleasant and friendly towards WWW. The characteristics that I found so attractive in her are still there, but I don’t need to share a bed with her to experience those characteristics.

On the bright and positive side. I can now honestly claim another known fact about myself and where my comfortable boundary is on this issue. And for that, the weekend was a perfect lesson on getting to know me.


  1. It seems entirely fair to want the story up front. It may not be your fundamentalist upbringing (me, too); she wasn't really forthcoming with you.

    I don't have an ethical problem with polyamory. I just barely have the energy to be monoamorous.

  2. Hahaha, good luck duck, you're funny. Wow, Ish! I just don't know what to say about all that! Viva la difference!

  3. Appreciate
    what you receive;
    Some poor guyz
    are starving.

    She truth-told.
    Think how much trouble
    THAT saved you.

    Enjoy the path,
    even the pain & joys,
    my Brother.

    It means you are
    A L I V E-