Saturday we buried some ashes. It was harder than I thought it was going to be. I got home by 6:00 PM and went straight to bed, and didn’t wake up until 7:00 AM Sunday morning.
It seemed so final, staring at this giant hunk of granite with my wife’s name on it. There is no comfort in a “hereafter”. There is no comfort from a “higher power”. There is only a very heavy and cold chunk of highly polished granite in my heart.
I can also understand why some widowers go crazy with hedonistic and nihilist thoughts and actions. Why bother trying to live the good life? Screw it, and get as much as you can grab... we’ll all be dead soon enough anyway.
But rational thought slowly takes over. The community comes out to greet me, lift me up….
And life is relentless in its slow march. Persistent. Hopeful with each Spring day.
One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.
My hiking partner and his wife took me up a mountain for Easter Sunday. It was a hard climb. We followed a mountain ridge straight up with very few switchbacks. My body screamed in pain to match my heart.
It was exactly what I needed to do.
I have plans to meet WWW later this evening. I am breaking things off with her tonight.