Friday, March 2, 2012

A Weekend of Black Stone Heart and Mind

Tomorrow I meet with my in-laws to plan a final last memorial for my wife.

It will feel good, but painful.  I’ll bring my old man hanky and have a good cry.  I still hurt.


I worked for 20 years at my previous job. Yup, straight out of High School, I joined a Union and was earning a family wage at 18 years old.  It was hard, physical work. My body was being torn apart. I met my wife, and she gently encouraged me to be easier on my body. I started working more in the office instead of on the production floor. I was eventually promoted to a supervisor position of overseeing 1 person (myself).  It was still hard work, but now I worked the old noggin instead of the old back.

At the 20 year mark, with my wife’s support, I quit my job in pursuit of another career. I landed in an incredible family owned business, and I am just about to pass the 5 year mark with them.  


The house is slowly driving me crazy. Since I haven’t moved into the home yet, my insurance company mailed me a Notice of Cancellation that was also sent to my mortgage lender. I’ve called my insurance agent, and she will hopefully straighten everything out.

The house is completely unlivable right now. Even the upstairs kitchen and bath have been removed. When we tore off the remaining drywall in the basement, we found more shoddy wiring work and corroded pipes. We are now re-wiring and re-plumbing the entire house. Even the water drain lines needed to be replaced.  On the bright side though, I have re-configured the entire basement, and it should be great when it’s done. I’ll have spent my whole retirement nest egg on it, but what the heck, it will look great and outlast me.


I guess I’m just trying to get through the weekend with my brain and heart turned off. Tomorrow will be an emotional train wreck…..And I don’t want to bring my wife’s urn back home with me. 

Bauhaus- Black Stone Heart- Peter Murphy


  1. As painful as it will be, it will be closure and that's what you need.

    Hang in there... sigh

  2. I don't really know what to say about that except that I am thinking about you and wish you all the best...