It must be the calm before the storm. The new house is in a holding pattern, waiting for the paperwork to process. This last weekend was completely free of all obligations, with nothing planned. I had absolutely no desire to do anything all weekend, and I was pretty successful.
A session with my shrink on Friday after work, and then I basically went home to bed. I laid around all Saturday doing nothing but play on the computer, and Sunday I finally got motivated to go to Ecstatic Dance and then do some laundry.
So on Saturday I re-activated an old on-line dating profile with OkCupid. Lots of the same faces from a year ago. I put up some new photos, changes some descriptions, and had fun looking at all the pictures. I even spent some time checking out the competition of the other mid 40’s single guys in my demographic. I gotta say, I may not be the most handsome guy around, but I do still have all of my hair with very little gray…and all my teeth too.
I am chalking up my absolutely lazy weekend to a number of things.
My bank account still has my late wife’s name on it, and the underwriter for the home mortgage asked me to clarify my relationship status. I told them I would scan a copy of her death certificate to them on Monday. When I dug out her death certificate on Friday night, I do believe it was the very first time I had read the entire document. Amazing how much information that little piece of paper holds. Amazing how many memories a life can hold.
While my relationship ended cleanly with B.D. early last week, I hadn’t made any plans with friends for the weekend, and more than a few friends are out of town. So I cruised on-line dating profiles all day long feeling sorry for myself, and laughing at the same time at how much I have it together compared to some of my competition. I may come with more baggage than a carry-on, but at least mine will fit in the over-head compartment. It’s taken 3 years of therapy to pack in in the bag, but at least I know what is in it now.
Hank Williams Sr. Nobody's Lonesome for Me
I would bet that even with your loss you have much less baggage than the average guy out there. And you have hair! That is important. Teeth are essential! :) ~T.
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