Thursday, December 15, 2011

Widowed People United in a Boycott of Christmas

Christmas is coming, and I feel like running away.

I’ve boycotted Christmas for the last three years since my wife died. My in-laws were actually leaving the country the first 2 holiday seasons .  Like many people, my wife loved the holidays and bringing family together. We would have all of the big holidays at our house. My wife was very happy on those days.

These days, I let the holidays slide by, or I create new traditions like the four-day no-family Thanksgiving extravaganza I attended.

I’m meeting B.D. tonight after work at a dinner event for a friend of hers. Apparently this friend has rented an entire bar for the event. I’m not sure what I’m getting myself into, but it should be fun. I guess I better wear something a bit fancier than those 501’s with the knee holes, and the T-shirt from 1997 with the pizza stains.


  1. That all sounds wise. Trying to recreate those old holiday experiences would likely just feel empty and joyless. I've avoided creating traditions in my adult life because I don't want to be unhappy when they can't happen. It's good, because you can like each new manifestation, and it's always fresh.

  2. Thanks so much for stopping by H&B!

    I do hope that you have a lovely time at the event. And never run away from anything. It always catches up with you ;)

  3. Anything you have to do to get through the holidays intact is good.
    This will be the eighth Christmas since my wife of 35 years died and I've spent them alone, or with one or both of my children's families, or with friends. I have not decorated at all and I have decorated with just ornaments that my wife made. I have sent cards and I have not sent cards.
    The first Christmas I sent cards made of a photo that she took. The second Christmas I sent a card with starfish on it which alluded to a story everyone would remember.
    I think as long as you have a plan that you can deal with and let yourself feel sad and remember the good times.