These are just plain old darn busy days lately. The workload will continue to increase through the end of the year. No complaints, just trying to adjust to the different pace.
And while things are still going on in my personal life, I seem to have lost the oomph to continue to write about it. I’m sure it will come back though. Part of the problem may be the recent urge to actually learn to write properly and have something worthwhile to say. I read some fantastic blogs that are so thoughtful and insightful, they give me pause to think about all the wonders of life…..and then I read one of my scattershot blurbs ……
Thanksgiving really was a wonderful time with probably 75 people rolling through the house over 5 days. I felt a part of the clan for the first time. That feeling of finally belonging would probably be laughed at by the clan, as it has been over 2 years I have been able to hang around them. They accepted me long ago and I have finally allowed their acceptance. My homework is to now expand that feeling, and continue to reach out to them individually and as a group. I have never actively fostered my friendships before, and it is time to start.
Dinner with B.D. last night was really good. I stayed a bit too late, but it was well worth it. Good conversation and re-statement of keeping things light. I also have noticed some of my hesitation with her is my own feelings of inadequacy. She is so smart and serious, and I can be so upbeat and frivolous that I don’t want to end up sounding stupid. Ugh! That is just my own crappy thinking. She is most likely enjoying my company precisely because I am so upbeat and frivolous. She is surrounded by smart and serious brainiacs all day long and lightness is probably what she enjoys about our dinners. If I am not being myself when I am around her, I am lying to both of us.
Getting a massage tonight! Maybe put myself to sleep early! I have been going to the same massage therapist for over 5 years. My wife also went to her. She is like a second shrink for me. I am very vocal on the table, and I tend to just let everything spew out as it enters my brain. I am hoping to return the favor after all of these years. She just willingly left a long-term relationship as her partner wanted children and she does not. The guy was ok with this for the first few years, but he really would not feel complete without offspring. It has been a problem topic for a few years, so she moved out of their house they bought together, and is now living in a small apartment.