Tuesday, November 8, 2011

But all i got is a photograph

I started moving some framed pictures, photo albums, and other mementos into the new apartment last night. I was making good time packing things away until I got to our wedding photo album. It seems like a lifetime ago, and a bit surreal as if those wonderful times were really just a dream and never happened.  The reality of life came crushing back as I picked up the urn containing her ashes. That darkness from the early days came rushing back as I sat on the floor staring at most of what was physically left of my marriage.  A few photo albums, several CD’s filled with travel photos, some paperwork, and a box with her name on it.

I gathered myself up off the floor and continued on. I got the items packed into the car and drove down the street with tears still in my eyes. One grows accustomed to driving with watery eyes after a few years.  As I carried my wife’s ashes up the stairs to the new apartment, I was reminded of my intention to have some type of memorial created for my wife’s birthday in the spring.

Ev'ry time I see your face,
It reminds me of the places we used to go.
But all I've got is a photograph,
And I realise you're not coming back anymore.
I can't get used to living here,
While my heart is broke, my tears I cried for you.
I want you here to have and hold,
As the years go by and we grow old and grey

Ringo Starr - Photograph - co-written by that other Beatles guy George Harrison

5 comments:

  1. Awesome, I remember my yesterday's sweet memories.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ish, I lost my fiance' in 2004 to a car accident when she was only 19. I recently was unpacking all my boxes now that I am in a new home, and I came across pictures of us as well. It's so hard to lose someone that dear to our hearts.

    Thankfully, I met someone recently who accepts that there is a part of my heart that will always belong to my late-fiance', and doesn't get upset that I still hurt over it.

    My memorial was more a video I created and posted on YouTube. All I can offer is that one day, it'll finally not hurt as much. But it'll never stop hurting.

    ~Arathi

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for sharing your feelings. It means so much to me.
    Dragonfly

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Arathi,
    It's a strange push and pull, isn't it? I want the hurt to go away, but I also want it to stay. And I am thankful that we can eventually have good relationships again through it all. Thank you for sharing all that you do.
    -Ish

    ReplyDelete