Tuesday, November 8, 2011

But all i got is a photograph

I started moving some framed pictures, photo albums, and other mementos into the new apartment last night. I was making good time packing things away until I got to our wedding photo album. It seems like a lifetime ago, and a bit surreal as if those wonderful times were really just a dream and never happened.  The reality of life came crushing back as I picked up the urn containing her ashes. That darkness from the early days came rushing back as I sat on the floor staring at most of what was physically left of my marriage.  A few photo albums, several CD’s filled with travel photos, some paperwork, and a box with her name on it.

I gathered myself up off the floor and continued on. I got the items packed into the car and drove down the street with tears still in my eyes. One grows accustomed to driving with watery eyes after a few years.  As I carried my wife’s ashes up the stairs to the new apartment, I was reminded of my intention to have some type of memorial created for my wife’s birthday in the spring.

Ev'ry time I see your face,
It reminds me of the places we used to go.
But all I've got is a photograph,
And I realise you're not coming back anymore.
I can't get used to living here,
While my heart is broke, my tears I cried for you.
I want you here to have and hold,
As the years go by and we grow old and grey

Ringo Starr - Photograph - co-written by that other Beatles guy George Harrison


  1. Awesome, I remember my yesterday's sweet memories.

  2. Ish, I lost my fiance' in 2004 to a car accident when she was only 19. I recently was unpacking all my boxes now that I am in a new home, and I came across pictures of us as well. It's so hard to lose someone that dear to our hearts.

    Thankfully, I met someone recently who accepts that there is a part of my heart that will always belong to my late-fiance', and doesn't get upset that I still hurt over it.

    My memorial was more a video I created and posted on YouTube. All I can offer is that one day, it'll finally not hurt as much. But it'll never stop hurting.


  3. Thank you for sharing your feelings. It means so much to me.

  4. Hi Arathi,
    It's a strange push and pull, isn't it? I want the hurt to go away, but I also want it to stay. And I am thankful that we can eventually have good relationships again through it all. Thank you for sharing all that you do.