Monday, November 7, 2011

Naked Emotions & Raw Yearning

I left my quiet little blog on Friday afternoon and returned today to find some incredibly kind words from Teresa Evangeline.  I have been following Teresa for a short time, and have grown to admire her insightful and thoughtful posts. She’s a great writer.  Her writings flow smoothly and gracefully over a large pendulum of topics. 

I am humbled that people have been taking the time to read my scattershot crazy ramblings. Thank You.
We are all stumbling through life and it is nice to know that we are not alone, and that there are some people with sturdier footing that we can lean on every once in a while.


I painted the bedroom in the new apartment on Saturday. It looks great. The room is bright and cheery. I picked a gray with a very slight tint of blue and once I put up some artwork on the walls, it should be a very welcoming space.
I also made a few more trips with the minivan, bringing over more items. The poor minivan has had an electrical problem for months now. The running lights, interior lights, and fog lights all stay on for up to 30 minutes after the engine is turned off, or the doors are opened. Since the doors were being opened and closed all day long, the battery went dead. Great. I finally got a jump and drove it back to my old apartment and parked it for the night.
I went out with some friends that night and since I wasn’t driving, I had a few more Adult Beverages than necessary. Between the hangover, the time change, and the potential for a dead battery on the minivan, I really didn’t want to get out of bed. Imagine my surprise when I finally motivated and got myself up and tried to start the car. It turned over on the first time and seemed happy. I went ahead and disconnected the fog lights, hoping not to repeat the dead battery.

B.D. came over to the new apartment on Sunday night, and we walked the 3 blocks to a really nice dinner (braised pork, greens gratin, and mashed taters). I actually heard a few belly laughs from her!  She is still quiet, but that is not for a lack of brain activity. She is super smart, and sometimes I wonder if she is trying to bring it down a notch to communicate with me.

We ended up back at my new apartment and things got a little hot and heavy. My mind was racing with crazy thoughts of my late wife. My heart was screaming “Stop!, you are being unfaithful!” and my brain was trying to calm myself down with “ You are just moving forward”. My body didn’t know what to do and chose not to respond.

And that’s ok. In fact, it’s best that things were kept light and breezy.


I am now in a mad rush to empty out the old apartment. I have friends coming over Saturday to help move the big stuff. I want to have everything out before then. 


  1. The body doesn't lie! Well, someone told me that once, and it sounded true. What BD does with the non-response may be the most valuable information you could gather. [/erection talk]

  2. I'm glad I found your blog through the gals above. And ditto to what they said. :)