My mother’s husband is out of the hospital, and doing ok. I didn’t ask for any particulars. I had called her earlier and left a message and when she called back, I was out walking with B.D. on our way to dinner. Dinner was great, and the conversation is starting to pick up and flow a little easier now. B.D. is really quite a charming woman. I am going to continue seeing her and push all my previous reservations aside.
There have been a few personal internal revelations that have brought me to this decision. I have recently gotten back in contact with a few women I dated years ago before met my wife. These women were all incredibly energetic beyond the average of the bell curve. They are all successful in their own right, with a tenacious driving force that bowls over any and all obstacles. They are also outwardly focused, with precious few moments of self-reflection on how their actions interact with others. Their partners are usually hanging on for the exciting roller coaster ride for as long as they can. This pattern of being attracted to this type of woman has not served me well in the past. It was just dumb luck that I stumbled into the path of my wife. My wife was focused, and driven, but with the knowledge of a potentially short life span, she was also very introspective and interested in how others interact. Active and spontaneous, but able to make a “to-do” list of intertwining difficult situations.
So my struggle with B.D. is mostly that she is not this hyper-active bundle of unrestrained chaos. Crazy, eh? She is downright normal in her ebb and flow of energy. I am going to go forward with this. I will be the energetic one in this endeavor. I owe it to myself to explore this.
And yes, You may be right, I may be crazy, but it might just be a lunatic B.D. is looking for.
Billy Joel -Glass Houses- You May Be Right