Going to a monthly dinner for Young Widows and Widowers tonight. I’ve been going every month since November 2008. There are 6 new people coming today. We are not a structured support group with a trained facilitator, but rather a social group for people with similar situations. With 6 new people coming today, with fresh and raw emotions, it could be an emotionally difficult dinner. We’ve never had 6 new people at once before.
There is a wonderful bulletin board forum for young widows/widowers that was very helpful to me early on. They even have a chat room that saved my sanity a few times in the wee hours of the morning.
I don’t want my widowhood to define who I am. I do not want to be a victim of this. I want to grow and expand as a human being through this experience. I want to become a better person because of this. I want my self-esteem back. I want to feel worthwhile again. I want to be able to stand straight and hold my head high.
Sorry for such a bummer post today. I had dinner last night with a woman that I dated over this last winter. We dated for 6 months. It was a good and healthy relationship. I ended it a few months ago because I freaked out about developing feelings for another woman other than my wife. Yes, it needs to happen eventually. But I wonder if I will ever be ready for true intimacy and connection again. I certainly hope to have it again.
Tears for Fears The Hurting Memories Fade But The Scars Still Linger