I realize my ramblings are all over the place, with no focus. I rather like it that way.
I see my shrink today, so maybe she can help me bundle up my thoughts and present them in full sentences. I saw my psychiatrist every week for the first two years. Down to about twice a month now. We no longer focus on just my wife and my process of grieving. We now incorporate my whole life experience to allow growth and expansion in all aspects. Dunno if it is actually working, but at least I feel relatively ok about myself now.
The difficulty for me is living in the present tense. I am trying to look to far into the future and plan my life ahead. I need to constantly remind myself of the simple Ram Dass instruction of “remember, be here now”.
Dang it, I need a hobby.
In the meantime, I spent last evening with some friends at a very crowded karaoke bar:
Hit the Road Jack- Ray Charles (sang as duet with the lovely and talented MizBy)